Saturday, February 18, 2012

So Four Days After February 14...

While my happily committed friends are excited with the idea of having me set-up, I'm kind of uneasy with it. Yes, the thought of having to meet a (sort of) stranger is exciting, plus the fact that numerous couples actually end up together after being set-up, but I still don't find it attractive to meet a person and have your best foot forward, in hopes of getting your hearts sewn together after. 

You see, while others may see that I am extrovert, I am actually an introvert, who in initial meeting folds like a clam. I can probably talk miles and miles, but to a complete stranger, without any connection whatsoever, who I hopefully won't meet again. 

I hate small talks and having to be my best just so I leave a good impression. That's the thing about being set-up, you meet someone, you have to transform yourself into the best you can be,  so the person who paired you two won't feel bad about getting you guys together (they probably told the nicest things about you, such a shame to put them down).

I can't remember any of my relationships in the past where I was just set-up with a person. All my exes were my friends in the beginning and were comfortable with (okay, before break-up, but that's another story). They weren't just anyone who I was set up with in a bar, but those I've met in school, and or since childhood. They've seen me with weird hair, something stuck between my teeth, trip while running, scream at the top of my lungs, and are fine with it. I knew them, their parents, friends, so I was sure  how they are as a person.

Or maybe, I'm just scared of getting in a relationship after two years and meeting someone, already clouded of getting it on together, subjected by thoughts of people, finally seeing me holding hands, being fetched, treated to a dinner, and getting roses. I'm not even sure if I'm ready to take the high road of love again, because it was such great two years of being single. Sure, it's cute to have someone text you once in a while, or call you just because, but man, it feels so much better knowing you only have to worry about yourself and  your time and the fact that you don't have to argue about things concerning you, with other people. 

Until maybe I find someone better who would be understanding, intelligent, witty, and good looking (ehemDanielCraigehem), then maybe it's time to spread my wings and fly with the love bug.

'Til then, excuse me while I dress up for my weekly date with... my Mother. 

Thursday, February 2, 2012

Why I Deleted My Facebook Account

Few months after I left Facebook, I still get that usual "why did you delete your Facebook?" question matched with a quizzical look. It's as if having an account is mandatory and having none is a social suicide. 

Four years ago, I set up my account and found numerous people I haven't seen in a long time. It was fun sharing photos, posting links, joining discussions, and thinking of the next bright status to put in "what are you thinking" box. 

But it actually gets pretty tiring to see the same old people, complaining publicly about their lives, inviting you to join games, adding you in applications, and getting weird stuff from total strangers. It comes scary at some point when people still know things about you, despite setting the most secured security option from your account. 

While blogs and Twitter are both social networks too and are made publicly, I think it's safer to have something where you can edit and choose what you can put out, rather than have an account where people can randomly access, without your consent. I hated the fact that people can go through your life and assume they know you and they can already think that things are meant for them, even if they aren't. 

My mistake was adding people, even though I really don't know them that much and gave them access to things I just share with people who matter to me. I also did not like it when people only think of your birthday, just because Facebook reminded them, not because they remember you and your special day. 

The new Facebook layout too just got too depressing. Imagine seeing things you thought you had already forgotten about pop up again like some kind of a disease! Maybe I just got tired of tinkering around the new Facebook and that the only solution was to have my account deactivated to save me from the hassle of going through everything again. It was some kind of a relief.

Ever since I left Facebook, I had more time devoted to checking out the real stuff online. I discovered new sites where I spent countless hours reading through articles, without having to come across with words such like "Stuffs," and deciphering "social codes."

While I told my friends that I might be back, using a pseudonym, I know that it won't be anytime soon, lest not happening anymore. I have already gotten used to not having Facebook in my must-visits and I survived. My being elusive to the public has made me less conscious of what others will think of me, and just concentrate on what I want to happen with my life, without people going through it.

Recently, Facebook has gone public, promising a bigger and more improved services. Good for those who still have their accounts, but frankly, these things are not enticing enough to get me back.