Monday, November 30, 2009

FU GMA

Over It.

So, I guess the drama days are over. I'm sorry for turning all depress-o last week. Partly due to PMS and my seasonal depression (which I happen to get the idea from a good friend)

I watched New Moon last week, which was also the reason why I was 30- minutes late in my Marriage and Family class. If you haven't seen it, don't even think of watching it, cos it's super waste of money. Most of the time, you'll see shirtless males, sparkling faces, and dragging dialogues. I've lost count of my yawns and the action part, started almost 15 minutes before it ended. Seriously, I regretted shelling out money for that movie. I could have brought something else by then, really.

I also went thrift shopping again. I missed Cubao X and it missed me too! I bought two black dresses, well the other one's really a shirt dress. I saw a really nice pair of shoes, but because I don't have money at that time, I had to let it go. *sob* But I promise to be back with a vengeance, I swear! I missed Cubao X!!!

I suddenly felt lazy to continue this, but this is a happy post, really. Next blog post will be about my wishlist. Haha!


Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Of Journalism and Dirty Politics



It breaks my heart to see the Ampatuan Massacre photos here, so I'd rather post the list of the victims do deviate the gore. It's a bit better to see names, than the actual bodies of the victims. Eeelp.

For someone like me, whose future profession is something what you call Journalism, it's beginning to get really scary out there. It's like everywhere we go, we always have one of our feet down six degrees below the ground. All we do is to be the fourth estate, safe guard and balance to make sure the public gets what they need. Why the brutality? Why do you have to kill the 13 journalists in the convoy?

My questions do not end here.

Ampatuans should never be allowed to run for any office ever again. I don't like ostracizing, but really, this is too much. Just for the sake of position, you go on killing people? What's with that position that makes you cling to it so much anyway? Money? Power? Is that how you want your constituents to follow you? By fear?

And the MalacaƱang, here you go again. Please, stop saying we'll make sure everything will be done in due time. WE DON'T HAVE TIME. Do the process fast. What are you waiting for? May 2010 elections, so you guys can utilise this to make yourselves look good to us voters? That's insane. You guys don't know what you are doing. It's like you're not condemning what happen by prolonging the pain and fear among the people, especially those in Maguindanao.

Vice Mayor Esmael Mangudadatu, I may not be a voter from your place, but I am supporting you all the way. You don't deserve this injustice. Your family does not deserve this much pain. If you do get to win, promise us that you'll never be like any of these people and do what is just and proper to your people.

Rest in Peace Ampatuan Massacre victims.


and future journalists, good luck.

---
photos from bluepanjeet.org

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Zo Fasyon.

So this excessive consonant letters thing is what I enjoy doing now. Deciding on what to wear for grad pic (fashion shot, whatever hell that is) Lian and I decided we'll be Blair and Serena.


So who's who?

PS These are not what we're wearing for the shoot, cos they're hella expensive.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Paper Heart

When you throw a crumpled paper in a trash bin,
Does that mean it is the end of everything?
Whatever that paper contains
Rants
Raves
Scribbles
Doodles
It is essential.
If you try to pick up and unravel the paper
You see memories
Childish quintessential between you and me
Ballpoint wars to your planet and mine
and the times
the times we tried to make Friends
Turn Lovers
Turn to Affection
Turn to Marriage
Then Engagement
Then to Sweethearts
I try to open and see what is inside.
I tried to unravel the mysteries of infantile tantrums
and dreams we used to keep
Underneath the sunlight in the field of dandelions.
But what difference does it make?
When you and I try to forget
the Rants
Raves
Scribbles
Doodles
we had.
We forget that once in our lives
we shared this paper
and thrown it away.
Like the memories
of puppy love
Forgone.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Rollercoaster

It was one of those days when you suddenly feel like you have the whole weight of the world on your shoulders. It's one of those days that you wake up from the wrong side of the bed from what the last night's disappointment has caused you. You were toying the idea of drinking alone, with the bottle of brandy luring you in the corner. But you were tired, so tired that you passed out with drinking.

Waking up, your goal was to get a glass, no some glass of wine tonight. For some reasons, you thought it was what you needed to pull through. You have not had some drinks alone, but you are more than willing to do so tonight, fuck, who cares what you want.

You go on through the day, looking and feeling more melancholic than you were yesterday. Dressed inappropriately for what you call work, channeling the biggest sunglasses you have to cover the sadness you have accumulated from the day before.

You walk, aimlessly. Thinking without really realizing, what you are doing. You are confused. The thoughts of drinking alone still haunts you. You see, people smoking, you then thought, you probably need some, though you don't smoke. You see people along the way. Trying so hard to control yourself from shoving your middle finger to their happy faces.

Fuck happiness. You are selfish.

You continue to walk. Trying to make yourself realize that you are not depressed, because really, there's nothing to be depressed about. You tell that to yourself. You keep on repeating, the very same words to yourself, then suddenly it gave up. It started to ache, moving in circles, exploding. You lost it.

You're laughing. You think this is happiness. You think this is what you lost along the way. You think this is more than what you were looking for. Eternal happiness, unending laughter.

You look at yourself and ask what happened?

For a second of losing it. You started crying.

---

Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a form of depression that appears at the same time each year. With SAD, a person typically has symptoms of depression and unexplained fatigue as winter approaches and daylight hours become shorter. When spring returns and days become longer again, people with SAD experience relief from their symptoms, returning to their usual mood and energy level.

(from kidshealth.org)

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Sparks.

They call it mojo, I call it sparks.

Things turned cold these past few months. I've lost the warmth sometime between October and November. I've lost the passion for certain things quickly that sometimes I think I'm moving with things too fast. The shining, shimmering pixie dusts were gone, and all I have are gray ashes in my palms. I'm not sure where the luster went, but I miss it. I miss it a lot.

Twinkling no more, I look for the signs. Signs I'd always look for. But they seem to be disappearing on me. Me thinks it's all because of the anxiety. Anxious of the things for the future. Unseen events, slowly unfold in a not so proper way.

I want things to shine again. I want them to sparkle, as if they were new. I long for it to be surrounded by a million stars, lighting my way back to the sparks I think I lost along the way.

Make this one mine.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

My KT


Because it's been days since I got this :)

World, welcome my first Kate Torralba dress :)

Sunday, November 8, 2009

My Sunday Rituals

I've given up watching The Buzz a long time ago. Unless I'm waiting for some worth watching interview, I've decided to not watch The Buzz anymore because I'm sick of local showbiz gossip, especially now that it's a mix of showbiz and politics (in the form of Kris Aquino). But it's great to watch BETTER shows on Sundays. Here are two of my favourite shows every week.

Matanglawin (ABS- CBN Ch. 2, 11:00 am- 11:45am)

Okay, I watch Matanglawin religiously. I wake up before 11 and sleep after Matanglawin if I still feel sleepy. I hate it if I have to go out of the house on Sunday mornings because I won't be able to watch Kuya Kim. I have a crush on him that on last year's USTv awards night, although we had Aga Muhlach in the Med Audi, I still wanted to take picture with Kuya Kim, but he left ahead of us, so boo me.

For those who don't know, Matanglawin is a show about anything and everything interesting. Smorgasbord of info- tainment. They usually have a theme for the week and Kuya Kim will discuss all sorts of additional information about it. They started as an environmental show, which eventually became an information show in all categories. If there are things I am grateful for about this show, I am glad that I got to know the most useful (sometimes not so useful) information I know right now. Thanks Kuya Kim, Matanglawin!

Ang Pinaka (QTv Ch. 11/ 24 6:00pm- 6:45pm)

I love making lists! And this show has lists! Awesome, I Know!

Like Matanglawin, Ang Pinaka has become one of my Sunday staples. If it's 6:00, I'll make sure I'm sitting steady in front of the TV and watch Rovilson Fernandez host this interesting show. They make a top 10 list of almost everything in pop culture, even those we don't even know. I love it that they have Panelistas, a group comprised of expert speakers that will talk about the certain list of the week. My favourite Panelista so far is Direk Joey Reyes,. He always has this interesting input and witty remarks.

I'll make sure that I'll apply to any of these two shows after graduation. I always find researching for EVERYTHING fun and these shows always have something interesting every week. Makes my Sunday worth it. Makes my mind prepare for the upcoming week. Definitely, their features are worth talking and sharing about.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

L.O.V.E.


I just saw This is It at Trinoma awhile ago and I've got to say that it's one of the best documentaries I've ever seen. It's so great to watch MJ doing what he does best and even if he's just rehearsing, you can see how much he loved his craft. He's giving his all, even if he'd occasionally say that he's saving his voice and energy. Haha!

Watching MJ made me realize that people have a lot of misconceptions about him and it's really bad that a lot of people misunderstood him. MJ was pure talent, no BS. He is a genius. He knows what he's doing, but at the same time, he's humble enough to work with different people. He's a star, but he also wants other people to shine. He kept on saying that he's doing it for love, L.O.V.E., whenever he tells something he did not like, but it still all good. I saw these all in this documentary.

I was at awe from start to finish. I try my best not to sing too loud because Lian and I went to the first screening where most Senior Citizens watch and they might get annoyed. But I really think it would be better if we all stood up, danced, and sang with MJ. I loved his duet with his back- up singer, Judith Hill, they sang I Just Can't Stop Loving You. I loved the additional videos for Thriller and Smooth Criminal. I Love his Black or White and The Way You Make Me Feel as always.

This is It would have been one of the best concerts ever produced. It's just too sad it never took place. But if it did, it would have been awesome to watch it live. I'm glad I saw this film and if given some more time, I'd like to see this in 3D.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Could Get Used to These

Staying with my dad downstairs for days now. Since mama's out of town 'til who knows when, I am sleeping downstairs to accompany papa. I miss my bed and my room. But I have to do this cos mama told me to and I Love papa. I'm doing this for him.

What I don't like about sleeping downstairs is the radio. I'm completely okay with radio turned on because I'm so used to it. Papa would always do that when we were younger. He'd tune in to DZMM. But I don't know what the heck came to his mind and changed dial to DWIZ. Now he's been listening to this really annoying dude everyday! Sometimes I can't stand it anymore because what he's saying most of the time is really stupid. You know how I can't tolerate stupidity. But whatever, papa likes to listen to him. It's his radio so I have no choice but to listen also. Gnash. I can't wait to get back to my bed-- again. But I'm getting used to this one. Blah.

Today was lovers tiff day. It was really silly and was blown out of proportion. I don't like what happened, but I think I don't have to keep adjusting to people because they have to think that I have my own time and preferences, too. But because I am naturally apologetic, I would always, always be the first one to apologize cos number one, I hate it when I have unresolved issues for the day and number two, I think apologies should be given anytime, so is forgiveness. However, I still don't like the reason given. I don't like it at all. It is a two- way thing. If I adjust to you, you probably should adjust too for me. That's how (I think) good relationships work. My past relationships involved me adjusting, the other one didn't. I was hoping this one will be different.

I don't want to get used to this. Never.